Let’s not start this off too dramatically. Of course people care about you, family and a few friends take an interest in your life and will support you when you need it. But nobody cares more about you, than you, and nobody cares more about the small things than you. Unless you have a stalker who is obsessed, but they probably still don’t care as much as you do.
You’re not top of mind – sorry
People are busy. If you are walking down the street, and you didn’t have enough time to gel that single strand of hair that always pops up at the back of your head and makes you feel like a withered rooster – nobody cares. Literally nobody. Not. One. Single. Person. is looking at the back of your head going, “pfft, what a loser, that oke didn’t gel down that single strand of hair this morning #avoiding.”
The same goes for a lot of other situations. The beach. I’m at the age now where I couldn’t actually give a flying f**k about how my chubby little tummy bobs around when walking into the water and back to my beach towel to go and get some food to keep that chubby tummy. I’ve actually grown to quite admire it, how the suncream makes it glisten in the suns rays. But it took me 27 years to get there, and I wish it took less. I wish I realised that nobody is looking at you on the beach. And if they are, they really are wasting their time.
Mess up. You learn from failure, and when you realise nobody cares about your failure, you’ll succeed even more
I think this mentality of everyone is looking at me and paying attention to every single detail of my life restricts us from our full potential. People are so scared of failure, of being judged for bad work, for getting criticism and feeling like they have done a bad job. Get over it. You will fail. Only you will remember, and maybe your family – but they should and are likely to just support you.
Failure. It’s a word that people hate and avoid. But that’s exactly all it is, a word. I think it stems from schooling systems, if you fail, you are stupid and pathetic and everyone laughs at you. Shit, if you can’t play rugby and fail, you are truly fucked.
But that’s pathetic. People fail all the time. Some of the most successful people in the world have failed 50-100 times, and kept on going. Resilience. They knew that they could do it, and every single time they failed, they learnt and adapted and eventually succeeded.
Failing in our society (South Africa in particular) is seen as such a negative thing, that nobody actually tries anymore because they are scared of how the outside world will perceive them. You can see this in a society where if the national rugby team loses to New Zealand it’s a day of mourning, instead of thinking, “Oh shit, we lost by a try to the best team in the history of the game, well done.” Thank the rugby Gods they won the RWC.
Failure isn’t something to be ashamed of. It should be something that is celebrated and encouraged.
Theres an advert by Southern Comfort, “Whatever’s comfortable” – which I think is the attitude everyone should have. Be comfortable in your own skin. Fail. Try again. Fail. Try again.
Just remember – Nobody cares, until they do.